A fair lot has changed since last post. I settled in new job and got control of it. I settled in new location. I married the girl I wanted to and am settling down with her. :) :) :)
I did more shopping than I have done in past 5 years combined... I lived in a place much cleaner than I have lived in, in past many years. I started buying gifts for occasions I usually would not bother about.....
I faced more frequent emotional extremes in last 12 months than probably in past 20 years. I hurted the people I care about most - and hurted them harder than I ever did... I prayed more in past few months than I might have done in my entire life.
Quite a bit for 6 months... at least if compared with history.
One more important and not very visible thing has changed - Some things that never made sense are suddenly at the point of becoming obvious. And I mean it in a positive way.
It feels like fate had denied me an important lesson.. and is teaching it to me now.
I am talking about things as simple as working towards the goal... or taking one step at a time... or taking calculated risks.. or using healing power of love..
I always thought that I understand whatever little they have to offer.. which is gyan sessions .. that keep a few people on their toes for next few days... or some liners used to bring consensus or solve a conflict or moderate a discussion.. or writing gyan books and earning some quick bucks.. or a way to spend a sunday afternoon by reflecting.. such stuff...
But now, I find its another view in a very different light .. I find it as a way of life... a thought process... something much closer to me than I thought it would ever be.. and all this is coming without any gyan sessions or gyan books or any such crap.. it comes from hard examples.. happenning Live!
These learnings are coming my way. naturally. It is Neat!
For me, 'Winning' got redefined a bit. In past, I have fought pretty hard in adverse odds.. I have taken strong entry gates head on... The gates would never open.. I shredded them to pieces.. they just would not open.
And that became my approach to solving problems. Tear them apart! Period.
But in past few months, I have seen gates opening up.. from inside.. I wish I could explain how different this experience is..
The sound of another gate opening - it gives me a kick. Oh it does!
I finally see small achievements adding up to victory.
Is it true or is it a random high? or just a phase of life? or some goodluck that my wife has brought in? Shall wait for future to answer it.